Sunday, 14 January 2007

A Day of Retreat

Eight years have passed since I first visited Kuala Lumpur for a reason that was very different from the current one who brought me here again. I can't remember what the city looked like during my last visit, which was somewhat in a hurry but delightful.

However, I was grateful that I had a chance to sit alone in the cabin reading and listening to music. For some reason, I found almost each and every Canto pop song that I listened to on the in-flight channel stirring up some sort of emotions inside me.

Even though those emotions were so strong that almost prompted me to switch on my computer and write something, I knew too well that it was not going to work. Those emotions were simply too random and complicated to be written in a comprehensible way.

Things just came up in the split of a second that it would have taken some efforts to think through and jot them down. But the next question is, whether the feelings are still in their original form after going through all the logical process.

A few friends would have said, "Why bother? Just write as they are and don't bother about making sense, as long as you can understand." But this is precisely where my biggest blind spot is. I just can't do it for myself. And more importantly, my brain seems to have run out of sense and words these days to put things clear enough for me to understand.

In any event, it was certainly rewarding to have a chance to get away from home at a time when I really need a mental break. Too strong of an emotional turmoil has happened inside me and it is time to sort things out a bit before they go too far to intervene with my day-to-day obligations.

There is still a long way for me to go to meet the challenges this year.

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